TRIGGER ALERT: This post contains triggers for both food nazis and climate change nazis.
A few weeks back I posted a blog in which I attributed both my personal misery and the contemporary decline of all mankind to gluten. I noted that more and more people were eliminating gluten from their diet to combat both their own ills and mankind’s collective entropy, the downward arc of our apparently doomed civilization. The apocalypse was just around the corner and gluten was the key. Boy, was I naive. Gluten-sensitivity was just the beginning—like maybe the first of ten plagues that Moses unleashed on Egypt.
My eyes have been opened to the new satan: global warming. Err, I meant “climate change.” Climate change is what we now call global warming. Why? Because who’s going to buy attributing a string of colder winters to global warming.
I read this morning that the governor of California, Jerry Brown, said “humanity is on a collision course with nature” and he attributed the ten brush fires in San Diego County to, guess what? Ta da, global warming. Err, I meant CLIMATE CHANGE. He said we are doomed because we have been burning far too many fossil fuels for far too long. He noted that California has the strictest car exhaust emission laws, and clearly the rest of us haven’t been doing our part. This, BTW, is a very good reason to think in terms of Gov. Jerry instead of Hillary come 2016.
Just like universal gluten-sensitivity and contemporary physics “theory of everything” climate change kind of encompasses it all:
Erratic Weather patterns: climate change
Colder winters: climate change
El Nino, La Nina: climate change
Killer tornadoes: climate change
Hotter summers: climate change
The melting Antarctic: climate change
Monster hurricanes: climate change
Killer Tsunamis: climate change
Rising sea levels: climate change
Earthquakes in diverse places: climate change
Global famine: climate change
Godzilla rising: climate change
Dippy Weather-Babes on Channel-13: ditto
Well, if that doesn’t convince you we’re in deep doo doo, I’ll make my own modest contribution to the speculative debate: SEROTONIN DEPLETION SYNDROME
(1) Serotonin is the “feel-good” neurotransmitter in our brain. If you have too little of it you get depressed and surly. Most antidepressants increase serotonin levels in our brain’s limbic system. They’re called SSRIs: selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They make serotonin more plentiful at certain neural synapses.
(2) We currently have an epidemic of clinical depression in this country. About 28% of the adult population in the USA is now taking antidepressant medication. Every year the number of people on meds rises. Twenty-five years ago only 5% were taking happy pills, and now it’s 28%, and yet in spite of this people are not a bit happier. The misery quotient just keeps on getting higher.
(3) One of the lesser known functions of serotonin in the brain is that it helps moderate our brain’s temperature. extreme heat burns serotonin out of our brain. That is why during extreme heat waves violent crime and the suicide rate go up. (Note: except in Third World countries where the natives know very little about global warming, depression or serotonin. They react to heat waves by dancing more and drinking pina coladas.)
Oh, I forgot to mention that climate scientists have said that in somewhere between 10 and 500 years Miami and New York will be under water. What’s not to like about that.
Disclaim & Repent: I read Al Gore’s book “An Inconvenient Truth” about seven or eight years ago. I even saw the movie and for a documentary it was excellent. Al should have won some kind of academy award. He portrayed himself as a solitary voice in the wilderness, a lonely warrior on a quest to change the course of our self-destruction thru excess. I believed it. I did my part. I replaced most of the incandescent light bulbs in my house with cooler, more energy efficient compact fluorescent bulbs. I became part of the Creation Care committee at my church and I got more deeply into recycling. I don’t discount the wisdom in taking better care of the environment, God’s creation. However, being highly politicized, the links between creation care and initiatives to reduce carbon emissions are tenuous at best.
In fact, there unquestionably has been several centuries of global warming. That part of the science is accurate. The problematic part is estimating how much humans have contributed to the warming—and if now anything appreciable can be done about it as far as eliminating fossil fuels. As for the latter part of the proposition I think they’re basically just guessing. A lot of so-called science is guess-work and those guesses usually reflect the prejudices of the particular scientist. In these times of rancorous politics it is difficult to get information without someone’s spin on the data.
I recall a book called “The Population Bomb” written by Paul Erlich in 1968. I read it the year after it came out and it was sobering. It predicted massive famines and starvation in the 1970s. We were doomed—by 2010 there would be so many people that humanity would be standing shoulder-to-shoulder. Now, Erlich was allegedly a scientist of some sort and none of his dire predictions came true. But the population bomb was used to justify all sorts of things–but especially abortion as a means of birth control. Among other loopy ideas he advocated, Erlich suggested putting chemicals in the water supply which would make people sterile.
And right at the moment climate change is, pardon the expression, a hot topic. It is all over the news. Almost every day some expert (or politician) is making dire pronouncements about our heating up (or cooling, take your pick) planet. One panel of esteemed experts said that the effects were “irreversible.” What a relief. I no longer have to feel guilty about not doing my part. The planet is officially doomed.
So why all of a sudden so much shrill hysteria about a phenomena that’s been part of the public consciousness for almost a decade? I suspect it has to do with the fact that we’ve had several consecutive years in which there had been global cooling. This is due to a phenomena called the Pacific Decadal Oscillation. PDO occurs in a 20–30 year cycle and the PDO accounts for much of the warming from the 1990s till fairly recently. It’s now getting cooler again and the climate change harpies sense that their time in the sun (pardon the pun) is short. They know their “science” involves as much speculation as hard data and they want to convince the public that there is an emergency at hand before the cooling cycle becomes apparent to all.
This is part of a crisis-anxiety-solution paradigm based on hypnodynamics. You create a crisis, scare the bejeebers out of people, and then relax them by proposing a solution. They’re so grateful that they’ll buy any bullcrap solution: think the 1934 Reichstag fire and Hitler being given emergency powers, or perhaps 2003’s non-existent WMDs justifying Bush’s war on Iraq.
But until then, climate change replaces gluten-sensitivity as my new theory of everything, accounting both for my personal misery (don’t forget serotonin depletion syndrome) and all that’s wrong with the world in general.